It’s been a long time wandering in the wilderness, friends, but it feels good to be back. Those among you who yearn for the good ol’ days of dial-up, animated GIFs and 3-minute flash intros can chortle with glee as they frolic among the long-dead archives of Where’s My Parade?

Speaking of backs, if you’re sprouting psychotic monstrosities from yours, I know just the thing for what ails ya.